Cartoon Peril

My childhood (which some might say has not yet ended) haunts me. And on that note, let’s get this out in the open: I hate “The Shirt Tales.”

This is not the ordinary hate, like one might have for the New York Mets or people who still have “W04” stickers on their cars. This is the kind of hate that creeps up in the middle of the night and stalks your dreams.

As children we are supposed to believe that this collection of little tiny animals are crime fighters. We are also supposed to believe that they have this “secret identity” as a collection of ordinary park animals. This is the kind of pre-9/11 mindset that has ruined many of my fellow Democrats.

First of all, these animals are mostly not native to the area they live, and that should be a BIG tip-off that something is up. Secondly, they can talk. In my experience few pandas, raccoons or orangutans can speak. And finally they are bipeds with opposable thumbs.

(On a side note, the villains on this show are in serious need of reminding about their second amendment rights). This would make them dangerous mutants at the very least.

Even George Tenent would be able to connect the dots here.

So, join me in saying “NO” to this kind of massive intelligence failure being played out on our TV screens. Say “NO” to teaching our children not to be alert to the potential danger posed by inexplicably anthropomorphic animals.

We live in an age of unprecedented danger. Our children need to be taught the right lessons.

For more information on the Shirt Tales, see the following site.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shirt_Tales