What would Jesus Bomb?
Swamp wisdom
According to Pervez Musharraf, Richard Armitage threatened to bomb Pakistan back into the stone age if his country did not cooperate in "The War Against Terror."
I am not sure what the big deal here is. I can think of a few places that we should consider using this tactic on if they fail to cooperate with whatever our goal de jour is.
England: if I was deputy secretary of state, I would threaten to bomb England back into the stone-age unless they agreed to improve their food. The British have been committing crimes against people who eat for centuries. Surely it is time to put this to an end.
Canada: These no good Alan Thicke producing, hockey-heads have chased one NBA franchise and one Major League Baseball franchise out of their country. I can only assume it is because of hideous oppression. I would insist they clean up their act or face the consequences. The great thing about this is that the Canadians are such a polite obliging peoples that they are very unlikely to call your bluff.
Tennessee: Stay with me on this one. I would demand Tennessee do something impossible, like, say, turn over the "king of the molemen" or give me ten words to rhyme with orange. You see, I just don't like Tennessee. Have you ever been there? Honestly, if you had, you wouldn't need any justification here. You would just smile, nod and hope they didn't meet my demands.
Mr. Roger's Neighborhood: I would demand they help me take on Sesame Street. Elmo must be stopped. Elmo must be stopped ELMO MUST BE STOPPED!
Rivendell: In the Lord of the Rings it takes more than a movie and a half to get them into the war of the ring. I see a lot of parallels here to The War Against Terror. With a little Bush style diplomacy a lot of lives could have been saved. (The same argument can be used with Tree-beard.)
The Headquarters of the AFL-CIO: Pluto needs to have its title as "planet" restored. I would demand that the AFL-CIO help me put the pressure on the International Astronomical Union to make it happen. (They're affiliated, aren't they? They didn't leave in that recent mutiny, right? Please tell me I don't have to threaten the Teamsters to get this done.)
Ain't diplomacy grand?
posted by The sane one @ 10:52 PM
7 Comments:
Yes, oh sane one... dubya could use people like you on his team... i completely agree with your approach to policy making and would love for pluto to be restored to it's former status as planet... i do, however, take issue with sic-ing snipers on elmo... i like elmo and lil dragon would be devastated!
first of all...pluto isn't qualified to be a planet! it's orbit is WAY off...kinda like W! secondly, i loved tennesee...it's arkansas that needs eradicating! and i agree with momma bear-leave elmo alone! barney could use a nuclear blast, tho!!!
I'm catching some unexpected blowback on the Elmo issue... hmmm... maybe this is where I can demonstrate leadership (W style of course) by reversing course, but not waffling, and abandone Elmo for the time being and shift my focus to Barney.
But there is no room for compromise on Pluto. If the only objection is that its orbit is way off, then maybe we need to just push it into the main stream... or push some other planets off so it has company. Mars is close by and not that big.
agreed... let's blow barney to smithereens and put pluto back on the list of planets... scientists created the criteria that bumped pluto from planetary status... it's okay with me if pluto is the exception to the rule about planets having their own orbital paths... doesn't bother me if pluto shares neptune's part of the time.
well, if that's how you really feel about pluto, then why not include Buffy, too? (read up on it... interesting things about Buffy!) i hate Barney! and baby bop needs to go, too!
as does betty boop!
hey, mickey mouse irritates the hell outta me as well! but his dog, pluto, can stay! he he he!
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