Lasting Grief

Swamp wisdom

Over the last few years we stories have come into the media about Jesus and the Virgin Mary appearing in toasted cheese sandwiches, bank windows and salt stains by highways. The other night I had a vision in a dream: Steve Irwin.

In this dream he was showing poisonous snakes and reptiles to a group of people. They were all unaware of his passing, except for me. I was very sad in the dream, on the verge of tears, but he had a look in his eyes that told me it would all be ok.

I don't know why I am so bummed about the passing of that lunatic. But I am.

Hell, conventional wisdom had it that he would be eaten by some animal while trying to film it. But a Stingray? Who saw that coming?

To be honest I think I had always assumed he was immortal. Anybody who did what he did and lived had to be.

There have been a lot of other deaths over the last couple of years that I have been upset about. Just recently Ann Richards died, and I really admired her. But it's not the same.

I think that somehow all these other people had a dark side somewhere. However, with the crocodile hunter there was a sense that he really was just that simple.

I use the word in the best possible sense, and I mean it sincerely as a compliment. He was that passionate wildlife guru who blamed himself when an animal bit him. You never watched him thinking there was anything but sincerity there. He was crazy, but he came by it honestly. And most importantly, you never got the sense that he had to hurt anyone (deservedly or not) to get where he was.

He was a child. A high profile child. And I can't help but be sad even now.

And so, when he came to me in a dream, I took it as a holy revelation. By crikey I'm resolved to found the First International Church of the Crocodile Hunter.

Or maybe this is all just a focused reaction to the overwhelming horror of our world. Here is one tiny tragedy that I can wrap my head around, so it becomes the focus of the epic uncertainty I feel about everything.

Maybe I should just put on some khaki shorts and meditate on that until I can work it out.